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The Onion

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America’s Finest News Source. A @globaltetrahedron.bsky.social subsidiary.

theonion.com

On Bluesky since 2023-04-29 12:21:21.353000

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The Onion

Only inaccurate six days a week. store.theonion.com/p...

Likes: 431 83% Sign in

Replies: 6 86% Sign in

Reposts: 20 ▼ 92%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%


The Onion

Analysis Finds Many Medieval Books Bound With Seal Skin theonion.com/analysi...

Likes: 642 75% Sign in

Replies: 15 66% Sign in

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Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


The Onion

Man Going To Take Edge Off With Decades-Long Slide Into Alcoholism theonion.com/man-goi...

Likes: 3312 26% Sign in

Replies: 65 26% Sign in

Reposts: 198 ▼ 22%

Quotes: 40 ▲ 90%


The Onion

Tips For Decorating Easter Eggs theonion.com/tips-fo...

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Quotes: 3 ▼ 85%


The Onion

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The Onion

New IRS Campaign Fucking Dares You To Take Deduction For Home Office:

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Quotes: 7 ▼ 66%


The Onion

You’re Not The Man I Married—You’re Significantly More Attractive And Loving theonion.com/youre-n...

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Replies: 20 55% Sign in

Reposts: 31 ▼ 87%

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The Onion

Chris Columbus Admits There Are Hours Of ‘Home Alone 2’ Outtakes Featuring Trump Saying Racial Slurs

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Quotes: 23 ▲ 9%


The Onion

It Only Tuesday

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Quotes: 43 ▲ 104%


The Onion

Björk Performs Benefit Concert For Wilted Sunflowers In Mushroom Forest theonion.com/bjork-p...

Likes: 1964 25% Sign in

Replies: 43 4% Sign in

Reposts: 144 ▼ 43%

Quotes: 21 ▼ 0%


The Onion

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good theonion.com/parents...

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Reposts: 124 ▼ 51%

Quotes: 14 ▼ 33%


The Onion

“How can I return an innocent man to the United States when I don’t have the ability to feel empathy or compassion?” said Nayib Bukele theonion.com/salvado...

Likes: 5118 94% Sign in

Replies: 118 94% Sign in

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Quotes: 43 ▲ 104%


The Onion

Your hands were made to click the “buy” button. store.theonion.com/c...

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Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%


The Onion

Tips For Decorating Easter Eggs theonion.com/tips-fo...

Likes: 1084 58% Sign in

Replies: 16 64% Sign in

Reposts: 64 ▼ 75%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 85%


The Onion

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Paternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Likes: 878 66% Sign in

Replies: 12 73% Sign in

Reposts: 58 ▼ 77%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


The Onion

Stephen A. Smith Hasn’t Ruled Out Living Cushy Life As Millionaire TV Personality With No Responsibilities theonion.com/stephen...

Likes: 1929 26% Sign in

Replies: 22 51% Sign in

Reposts: 105 ▼ 59%

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The Onion

Ultimately cheaper than joining a cult. Become an Onion member today for your last chance to get the April 2025 edition of the Onion Newspaper. Join America's Finest Membership here:membership.theonion....

Likes: 947 63% Sign in

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Quotes: 3 ▼ 85%


The Onion

Salvadoran President Claims He Lacks Humanity To Return Wrongly Deported Man

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Quotes: 79 ▲ 276%


The Onion

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The Onion

LeBron James Becomes First Male Athlete To Have Likeness Depicted In Ken Doll theonion.com/lebron-...

Likes: 609 76% Sign in

Replies: 5 88% Sign in

Reposts: 14 ▼ 94%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 85%


The Onion

Aaron Rodgers Goes On Ayahuasca Retreat In Search Of New Interview Anecdote theonion.com/aaron-r...

Likes: 1060 59% Sign in

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The Onion

How To Play Golf Against The Man Whose Wife You're Banging On The Side

Likes: 555 78% Sign in

Replies: 15 66% Sign in

Reposts: 41 ▼ 84%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 95%


The Onion

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Paternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Likes: 878 66% Sign in

Replies: 12 73% Sign in

Reposts: 58 ▼ 77%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


The Onion

Report: Wife Hasn’t Been Home In Few Days

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Reposts: 28 ▼ 89%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


The Onion

Aerosol Can Surprisingly Upfront About Giving You Cancer theonion.com/aerosol...

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Quotes: 4 ▼ 80%


The Onion

Prostitute Falls Asleep During ‘Star Wars’ theonion.com/prostit...

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Replies: 48 -18% Sign in

Reposts: 147 ▼ 42%

Quotes: 23 ▲ 9%


The Onion

Study Links Binge Eating To Stress, Contentment, Depression, Joy, Boredom, Anger, Relaxation theonion.com/study-l...

Likes: 4068 54% Sign in

Replies: 64 54% Sign in

Reposts: 365 ▲ 42%

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The Onion

🌶️ Things are heating up in the S🤩X House! 🌶️

Likes: 942 64% Sign in

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Reposts: 35 ▼ 86%

Quotes: 13 ▼ 38%


The Onion

Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death theonion.com/man-who...

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Replies: 135 160% Sign in

Reposts: 963 ▲ 274%

Quotes: 71 ▲ 238%


The Onion

Coachella Organizers Announce Plans To Extend Festival To 52 Weekends A Year theonion.com/coachel...

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Quotes: 11 ▼ 47%


The Onion

Trump’s Tariffs By The Numbers theonion.com/trumps-...

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Quotes: 8 ▼ 61%


The Onion

Judge Gives Trump Administration 3 Days To Return Her From El Salvador Prison theonion.com/judge-g...

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Quotes: 28 ▲ 33%


The Onion

Report: Majority Of Nation’s Civic Engagement Centered Around Oppressing Other People theonion.com/report-...

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Replies: 62 49% Sign in

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Quotes: 30 ▲ 42%


The Onion

Revised National Parks Webpage Describes Harriet Tubman As Human Trafficker theonion.com/revised...

Likes: 2430 7% Sign in

Replies: 108 -7% Sign in

Reposts: 328 ▲ 27%

Quotes: 48 ▲ 128%


The Onion

Coachella Unveils Premium VIP Areas Where Fans Will Be Able To See, Hear Bands theonion.com/coachel...

Likes: 3278 24% Sign in

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The Onion

FBI Warns Of ‘American Dream’ Scam theonion.com/fbi-war...

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Quotes: 45 ▲ 114%


The Onion

Solidify your unyielding commitment to capitalism with a purchase from The Onion's 100% for-profit store. store.theonion.com/p...

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The Onion

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The Onion

Trump Releases Skull Measurements From Phrenology Exam theonion.com/trump-r...

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The Onion

Researchers Taste Miso Fermented In Space theonion.com/researc...

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The Onion

Hush Falls Over Crowd After Bagel Tears ACL In Jumbotron Race theonion.com/hush-fa...

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The Onion

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Thirst Communion

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The Onion

Have a written record of society’s collapse. Join America's Finest Membership Here: membership.theonion....

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Reposts: 47 ▼ 81%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%


The Onion

Trump’s Tariffs: By The Numbers theonion.com/trumps-...

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Quotes: 14 ▼ 33%


The Onion

Don't let Frank's age fool you! He might be the biggest nympho in the S🤩X House

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The Onion

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Thirst Communion

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The Onion

New Clearblue Test Comes With Flight Voucher In Case Result Positive

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Quotes: 38 ▲ 80%


The Onion

Corporation Proud Of Origins As Small Business That Would Never Survive In Modern Economy theonion.com/corpora...

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Reposts: 172 ▼ 33%

Quotes: 8 ▼ 61%


The Onion

“I said to him, ‘Donald, these reciprocal tariffs have got to go,’ and that poor son of a bitch was like putty in my hands,” said Trump theonion.com/trump-b...

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The Onion

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The Onion

Dark times call for reckless purchases. store.theonion.com/c...

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Reposts: 54 ▼ 78%

Quotes: 4 ▼ 80%


The Onion

Tips For Managing Seasonal Allergies theonion.com/tips-fo...

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Reposts: 136 ▼ 47%

Quotes: 11 ▼ 47%


The Onion

U.S. Imposes Tariffs On Remote Island Of Penguins And Seals theonion.com/u-s-imp...

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Reposts: 85 ▼ 66%

Quotes: 11 ▼ 47%


The Onion

Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned If There Emergency In Space

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Quotes: 8 ▼ 61%


The Onion

Mother Extremists Hijack Airwaves To Broadcast Photos Of Their Children theonion.com/mother-...

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Quotes: 5 ▼ 76%


The Onion

Russell Brand Invited To Florida College To Teach Sexual Assault Workshop

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Quotes: 22 ▲ 4%


The Onion

NASA Rescues Children Stranded For 9 Months At Space Camp

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The Onion

Trump Boasts About Strong-Arming Trump Into Pausing Tariffs

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Quotes: 27 ▲ 28%


The Onion

The Onion Cultural Standard: Yellowjackets

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Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


The Onion

Pebble Rattling Around In Shoe Turns Out To Be Loose Toe

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Quotes: 22 ▲ 4%


The Onion

Dainty Little Man Orders Single Cheeseburger theonion.com/dainty-...

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Replies: 114 148% Sign in

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Quotes: 67 ▲ 219%


The Onion

Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack theonion.com/gorilla...

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Replies: 43 4% Sign in

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Quotes: 20 ▼ 4%


The Onion

Shop at The Onion store. It's not like anything else has made you happy. store.theonion.com/c...

Likes: 330 87% Sign in

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Reposts: 14 ▼ 94%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


The Onion

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The Onion

What To Know About The TikTok Sale theonion.com/what-to...

Likes: 931 64% Sign in

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Reposts: 30 ▼ 88%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


The Onion

Mall Escalator Spits Out Another Pile Of Bones

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Replies: 101 196% Sign in

Reposts: 834 ▲ 224%

Quotes: 92 ▲ 338%


The Onion

Galapagos Tortoises Become First-Time Parents At 100 theonion.com/galapag...

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Quotes: 5 ▼ 76%


The Onion

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The Onion

Trump Boys Hook Dollar Bill Up To Potato To Make Cryptocurrency theonion.com/trump-b...

Likes: 4564 73% Sign in

Replies: 74 73% Sign in

Reposts: 499 ▲ 94%

Quotes: 36 ▲ 71%


The Onion

Is Alex The Biggest Nympho In The S🤩X House?

Likes: 541 79% Sign in

Replies: 28 37% Sign in

Reposts: 18 ▼ 92%

Quotes: 14 ▼ 33%


The Onion

White House Revokes Biden’s Veneers

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Reposts: 61 ▼ 76%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


The Onion

Prostitute Falls Asleep During ‘Star Wars’

Likes: 1965 25% Sign in

Replies: 63 -25% Sign in

Reposts: 118 ▼ 54%

Quotes: 29 ▲ 38%


The Onion

Never-Before-Heard Buzzword Flying Around Office Can’t Be Good theonion.com/never-b...

Likes: 2995 14% Sign in

Replies: 44 2% Sign in

Reposts: 289 ▲ 12%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 66%


The Onion

“Let me be clear: This man, who attempted to park on the street and damaged the rear bumper of a Model 3, is a domestic terrorist who deserves to die,” said Pam Bondi theonion.com/man-who...

Likes: 5950 126% Sign in

Replies: 129 126% Sign in

Reposts: 754 ▲ 193%

Quotes: 66 ▲ 214%


The Onion

Mega Millions Raises Price Of Tickets To $5 theonion.com/mega-mi...

Likes: 1742 33% Sign in

Replies: 18 60% Sign in

Reposts: 114 ▼ 55%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 66%


The Onion

Help keep quality journalism limping along. store.theonion.com/c...

Likes: 779 70% Sign in

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Quotes: 4 ▼ 80%


The Onion

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The Onion

Patrick Schwarzenegger Worried ‘White Lotus’ Role Will Typecast Him As Hand Job Recipient theonion.com/patrick...

Likes: 2424 7% Sign in

Replies: 51 -7% Sign in

Reposts: 118 ▼ 54%

Quotes: 18 ▼ 14%


The Onion

Roseanne Barr’s Illiteracy Charity Snatches 100 Millionth Book From Child theonion.com/roseann...

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Replies: 41 8% Sign in

Reposts: 439 ▲ 70%

Quotes: 10 ▼ 52%


The Onion

Report: Recession Fears Forcing More Americans To Hold Off On Retiring From Presidency

Likes: 3099 18% Sign in

Replies: 47 18% Sign in

Reposts: 238 ▼ 7%

Quotes: 6 ▼ 71%


The Onion

RFK Jr. Orders Removal Of Sinks From HHS Bathrooms

Likes: 5295 101% Sign in

Replies: 196 101% Sign in

Reposts: 614 ▲ 138%

Quotes: 71 ▲ 238%


The Onion

Become an Onion member while it's still optional. Join America's Finest Membership here: membership.theonion....

Likes: 938 64% Sign in

Replies: 7 84% Sign in

Reposts: 39 ▼ 84%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


The Onion

Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped Her Belly

Likes: 1151 56% Sign in

Replies: 18 60% Sign in

Reposts: 74 ▼ 71%

Quotes: 8 ▼ 61%


The Onion

Nestlé Buys E.Coli For $2.3 Billion

Likes: 5252 100% Sign in

Replies: 49 100% Sign in

Reposts: 450 ▲ 75%

Quotes: 41 ▲ 95%


The Onion

Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death

Likes: 28092 970% Sign in

Replies: 547 970% Sign in

Reposts: 4513 ▲ 1656%

Quotes: 354 ▲ 1585%


The Onion

Ominous New Report Just Lists Places To Hide theonion.com/ominous...

Likes: 3827 45% Sign in

Replies: 37 17% Sign in

Reposts: 615 ▲ 139%

Quotes: 22 ▲ 4%


The Onion

Florida Gators Climb Ladder With Scissors To Circumcise Dick Vitale theonion.com/florida-gato...

Likes: 977 62% Sign in

Replies: 19 57% Sign in

Reposts: 48 ▼ 81%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 66%


The Onion

3-Year-Old Discovers 3,800-Year-Old Amulet While On Family Outing theonion.com/3-year-...

Likes: 691 73% Sign in

Replies: 10 77% Sign in

Reposts: 35 ▼ 86%

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The Onion

100% real clothes sourced directly from a natural commercial clothing manufacturer. store.theonion.com/c...

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Quotes: 1 ▼ 95%


The Onion

Judge Gives Trump Administration 3 Days To Return Her From El Salvador Prison

Likes: 5475 108% Sign in

Replies: 62 108% Sign in

Reposts: 763 ▲ 196%

Quotes: 41 ▲ 95%


The Onion

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Quotes: 14 ▼ 33%


The Onion

Sam Mendes Admits Idea For 4 Beatles Biopics Conceived Before He Heard About TV theonion.com/sam-men...

Likes: 992 62% Sign in

Replies: 4 91% Sign in

Reposts: 37 ▼ 85%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 85%


The Onion

Revised National Parks Webpage Describes Harriet Tubman As Human Trafficker

Likes: 5989 128% Sign in

Replies: 171 128% Sign in

Reposts: 867 ▲ 237%

Quotes: 112 ▲ 433%


The Onion

The Doctors Telling Us Not To Drink Our Urine Probably Just Want It For Themselves theonion.com/the-doc...

Likes: 5177 97% Sign in

Replies: 63 97% Sign in

Reposts: 415 ▲ 61%

Quotes: 44 ▲ 109%


The Onion

Trump Assures U.S. Farmers Barron Will Eat Their Crops

Likes: 2427 7% Sign in

Replies: 49 -7% Sign in

Reposts: 171 ▼ 33%

Quotes: 10 ▼ 52%


The Onion

What To Know About The TikTok Sale theonion.com/what-to...

Likes: 3619 37% Sign in

Replies: 17 62% Sign in

Reposts: 507 ▲ 97%

Quotes: 11 ▼ 47%


The Onion

WELCOME TO SEX HOUSE! Time To Meet The Nymphos

Likes: 1103 57% Sign in

Replies: 62 -57% Sign in

Reposts: 71 ▼ 72%

Quotes: 38 ▲ 80%


The Onion

Tourist Asks Passerby To Take Boudoir Photo Of Him theonion.com/tourist...

Likes: 1551 40% Sign in

Replies: 23 48% Sign in

Reposts: 57 ▼ 77%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 66%


The Onion

Masters Crowd Whispering Its Lungs Out

Likes: 1550 40% Sign in

Replies: 26 42% Sign in

Reposts: 59 ▼ 77%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 90%


Audience

1,003,752

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Growth

Engagement

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Posts published

3

Number of accounts followed

2625

Average likes per post Sign in to view

45

Average replies per post Sign in to view

257

Average reposts per post Sign in to view

21

Average quotes per post Sign in to view

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