The Onion

The Onion

“What they don’t want you to know is that George Soros and his far-left billionaire friends hired Alex Pretti to act as a dependable, beloved pillar of his community for decades,” said President Donald Trump

Likes: 2665 ▲ 73% Request Access

Replies: 59 ▲ 73% Request Access

Reposts: 352 ▲ 65%

Quotes: 22 ▲ 120%

The Onion

“The brave men and women of ICE and the U.S. Border Patrol are doing their best to carry out these executions in a safe and professional manner,” said Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem

Likes: 1944 ▲ 26% Request Access

Replies: 36 ▲ 26% Request Access

Reposts: 358 ▲ 68%

Quotes: 17 ▲ 70%

The Onion

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: That’s Norway to Treat a Lady

Likes: 925 ▼ 39% Request Access

Replies: 21 ▼ 12% Request Access

Reposts: 105 ▼ 50%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 50%

The Onion

Dark times call for reckless purchases. https://store.theonion.com/products/the-onion-dark-mode-t-shirt?variant=42154992795717

Likes: 135 ▼ 91% Request Access

Replies: 1 ▼ 95% Request Access

Reposts: 8 ▼ 96%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 70%

The Onion

What To Know About Trump’s Board Of Peace https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-trumps-board-of-peace/

Likes: 865 ▼ 43% Request Access

Replies: 21 ▼ 12% Request Access

Reposts: 110 ▼ 48%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 90%

The Onion

Trump Alleges That Democrats Secretly Paid Alex Pretti To Be Model Citizen https://theonion.com/trump-alleges-that-democrats-secretly-paid-alex-pretti-to-be-model-citizen/

Likes: 2439 ▲ 58% Request Access

Replies: 33 ▲ 58% Request Access

Reposts: 326 ▲ 53%

Quotes: 18 ▲ 80%

The Onion

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: That’s Norway to Treat a Lady

Likes: 925 ▼ 39% Request Access

Replies: 21 ▼ 12% Request Access

Reposts: 105 ▼ 50%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 50%

The Onion

Kristi Noem Calls On Minneapolis Residents To Stop Obstructing Murders https://theonion.com/kristi-noem-calls-on-minneapolis-residents-to-stop-obstructing-murders/

Likes: 3429 ▲ 122% Request Access

Replies: 56 ▲ 122% Request Access

Reposts: 728 ▲ 241%

Quotes: 26 ▲ 160%

The Onion

God Informs Humanity Choking People Meant To Die https://theonion.com/god-informs-humanity-choking-people-meant-to-die/

Likes: 692 ▼ 55% Request Access

Replies: 9 ▼ 62% Request Access

Reposts: 39 ▼ 81%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 70%

The Onion

Sean McDermott Expresses Gratitude To The People, If You Want To Call Them That, Of Buffalo https://theonion.com/sean-mcdermott-expresses-gratitude-to-the-people-if-you-want-to-call-them-that-of-buffalo/

Likes: 814 ▼ 47% Request Access

Replies: 6 ▼ 75% Request Access

Reposts: 80 ▼ 62%

Quotes: 19 ▲ 90%

The Onion

‘Sinners’ Sets Oscar Record With 16 Nominations https://theonion.com/sinners-sets-oscar-record-with-16-nominations/

Likes: 675 ▼ 56% Request Access

Replies: 5 ▼ 79% Request Access

Reposts: 45 ▼ 78%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 80%

The Onion

Disney Exec Reminds Toddler Only IP Goes On Fridge https://theonion.com/disney-exec-reminds-toddler-only-ip-goes-on-fridge/

Likes: 617 ▼ 59% Request Access

Replies: 3 ▼ 87% Request Access

Reposts: 44 ▼ 79%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 90%

The Onion

Nothing Ever Good Enough For Captive https://theonion.com/nothing-ever-good-enough-for-captive/

Likes: 1210 ▼ 21% Request Access

Replies: 24 ▼ 0% Request Access

Reposts: 85 ▼ 60%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 30%

The Onion

Man Struggling To Pierce Orange Peel With Fingernail Under Impression He Could Kill If He Had To https://theonion.com/man-struggling-to-pierce-orange-peel-with-fingernail-un-1819579648/

Likes: 2475 ▲ 60% Request Access

Replies: 24 ▼ 0% Request Access

Reposts: 284 ▲ 33%

Quotes: 8 ▼ 20%

The Onion

Rams-Seahawks Game Preempted By ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ Rerun https://theonion.com/rams-seahawks-game-preempted-by-everybody-hates-chris-rerun/

Likes: 791 ▼ 48% Request Access

Replies: 14 ▼ 41% Request Access

Reposts: 36 ▼ 83%

Quotes: 6 ▼ 40%

The Onion

Go ahead and try to fill the infinite void in your soul with merchandise at the Onion Store. https://store.theonion.com/products/your-favorite-sports-team-onion-headline-t-shirt-1?_pos=1&_sid=7c3d7654a&_ss=r

Likes: 517 ▼ 66% Request Access

Replies: 11 ▼ 54% Request Access

Reposts: 29 ▼ 86%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 50%

The Onion

Police Repeatedly Shoot Tim Cook After Mistaking iPhone For Gun https://theonion.com/police-repeatedly-shoot-tim-cook-after-mistaking-iphone-1824184361/

Likes: 7508 ▲ 387% Request Access

Replies: 123 ▲ 387% Request Access

Reposts: 1329 ▲ 523%

Quotes: 56 ▲ 459%

The Onion

Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement

Likes: 1560 ▲ 1% Request Access

Replies: 26 ▲ 1% Request Access

Reposts: 194 ▼ 8%

Quotes: 8 ▼ 20%

The Onion

Man Forced To Come Up With 45 Seconds Of Facial Expressions While Waitress Lists Off Specials https://theonion.com/man-forced-to-come-up-with-45-seconds-of-facial-express-1819577896/

Likes: 1425 ▼ 7% Request Access

Replies: 12 ▼ 50% Request Access

Reposts: 86 ▼ 59%

Quotes: 6 ▼ 40%

The Onion

Become an Onion member while it's still optional here: https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001bfeenAAA

Likes: 664 ▼ 56% Request Access

Replies: 4 ▼ 83% Request Access

Reposts: 20 ▼ 90%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 90%

The Onion

Entire French Populace Moved To Tears By Cartoon Of Robot Holding Flower

Likes: 818 ▼ 46% Request Access

Replies: 11 ▼ 54% Request Access

Reposts: 56 ▼ 73%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 90%

The Onion

Democrats Condemn ICE For Murdering Without Proper Warrants

Likes: 2795 ▲ 81% Request Access

Replies: 49 ▲ 81% Request Access

Reposts: 498 ▲ 133%

Quotes: 35 ▲ 250%

The Onion

Report: Meat Now America's No. 2 Condiment https://theonion.com/report-meat-now-americas-no-2-condiment-1819568589/

Likes: 708 ▼ 54% Request Access

Replies: 14 ▼ 41% Request Access

Reposts: 45 ▼ 78%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 50%

The Onion

Florida Passes Law Granting Viruses Personhood

Likes: 1506 ▼ 2% Request Access

Replies: 26 ▲ -2% Request Access

Reposts: 169 ▼ 20%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 80%

The Onion

The Onion Guide To NATO https://theonion.com/the-onion-guide-to-nato-1848421503/

Likes: 1077 ▼ 30% Request Access

Replies: 10 ▼ 58% Request Access

Reposts: 110 ▼ 48%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 70%

The Onion

Stand With The Sinister Minnesotans Against ICE https://store.theonion.com/products/sinister-minnesotans-t-shirt?variant=44569654984773

Likes: 1519 ▼ 1% Request Access

Replies: 16 ▼ 33% Request Access

Reposts: 395 ▲ 85%

Quotes: 9 ▼ 10%

The Onion

ICE Vows To Restore Order Using Whatever Force Unnecessary

Likes: 1605 ▲ 4% Request Access

Replies: 45 ▲ 4% Request Access

Reposts: 243 ▲ 14%

Quotes: 9 ▼ 10%

The Onion

Victoria Beckham Asks Reddit To Explain Beckham Family Feud To Her

Likes: 458 ▼ 70% Request Access

Replies: 4 ▼ 83% Request Access

Reposts: 25 ▼ 88%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle

Likes: 1919 ▲ 24% Request Access

Replies: 13 ▼ 45% Request Access

Reposts: 289 ▲ 35%

Quotes: 8 ▼ 20%