The Onion

The Onion

Grandchildren Politely Decline David Cronenberg’s Bedtime Story Offer https://theonion.com/grandchildren-politely-decline-david-cronenbergs-bedtime-story-offer/

Likes: 799 ▼ 52% Sign in

Replies: 11 ▼ 63% Sign in

Reposts: 145 ▼ 44%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

Stock up on Onion-branded family heirlooms so your loved ones will have something to pry from your cold dead hands. https://store.theonion.com/products/time-capsule-newspaper-package

Likes: 79 ▼ 95% Sign in

Replies: 1 ▼ 96% Sign in

Reposts: 6 ▼ 97%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

Music Playing In Bar Could Stand To Be Louder, Worse https://theonion.com/music-playing-in-bar-could-stand-to-be-louder-worse-1819576412/

Likes: 604 ▼ 64% Sign in

Replies: 11 ▼ 63% Sign in

Reposts: 58 ▼ 77%

Quotes: 6 ▼ 68%

The Onion

Man Humiliates Himself At Holiday Party By Telling Coworkers He Appreciates Them

Likes: 613 ▼ 63% Sign in

Replies: 11 ▼ 63% Sign in

Reposts: 63 ▼ 76%

Quotes: 6 ▼ 68%

The Onion

The Desert Where Life Goes To Die - Horrifying Planet

Likes: 342 ▼ 79% Sign in

Replies: 9 ▼ 70% Sign in

Reposts: 24 ▼ 90%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 89%

The Onion

Study Finds Humans Made Fire 400,000 Years Ago https://theonion.com/study-finds-humans-made-fire-400000-years-ago/

Likes: 395 ▼ 76% Sign in

Replies: 13 ▼ 56% Sign in

Reposts: 25 ▼ 90%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 94%

The Onion

JD Vance Reminded To Use White House Service Entrance

Likes: 1303 ▼ 22% Sign in

Replies: 15 ▼ 50% Sign in

Reposts: 137 ▼ 47%

Quotes: 8 ▼ 57%

The Onion

A gift from The Onion Store is the perfect way to tell someone you once heard them mention that they enjoy The Onion. https://store.theonion.com/

Likes: 117 ▼ 93% Sign in

Replies: 1 ▼ 96% Sign in

Reposts: 10 ▼ 96%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

Dermatologist Recommends Not Caring So Much What Other People Think https://theonion.com/dermatologist-recommends-not-caring-so-much-what-other-1828995941/

Likes: 1028 ▼ 38% Sign in

Replies: 15 ▼ 50% Sign in

Reposts: 97 ▼ 63%

Quotes: 10 ▼ 47%

The Onion

“I’m looking all over, and there’s just no way we can make this any worse,” Trump said

Likes: 1804 ▲ 7% Sign in

Replies: 26 ▼ 13% Sign in

Reposts: 211 ▼ 19%

Quotes: 27 ▲ 42%

The Onion

Likes: 458 ▼ 72% Sign in

Replies: 6 ▼ 80% Sign in

Reposts: 14 ▼ 94%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

You work too hard not to give us your money. https://store.theonion.com/collections/sweatshirts-and-hoodies

Likes: 145 ▼ 91% Sign in

Replies: 6 ▼ 80% Sign in

Reposts: 7 ▼ 97%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

New Eras Tour Docuseries Offers Rare Look At Taylor Swift https://theonion.com/new-eras-tour-docuseries-offers-rare-look-at-taylor-swift/

Likes: 648 ▼ 61% Sign in

Replies: 21 ▼ 30% Sign in

Reposts: 39 ▼ 85%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 63%

The Onion

What To Know About ‘Hamnet’ https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-hamnet/

Likes: 607 ▼ 63% Sign in

Replies: 15 ▼ 50% Sign in

Reposts: 39 ▼ 85%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

Man Rides Disneyland Attraction 15,000 Times https://theonion.com/man-rides-disneyland-attraction-15000-times/

Likes: 346 ▼ 79% Sign in

Replies: 4 ▼ 86% Sign in

Reposts: 20 ▼ 92%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 89%

The Onion

Tommy Lee Jones, Harrison Ford Wordlessly Grunt In Tense New ‘Actors On Actors’

Likes: 1223 ▼ 27% Sign in

Replies: 22 ▼ 26% Sign in

Reposts: 114 ▼ 56%

Quotes: 9 ▼ 52%

The Onion

The Night Epstein Died

Likes: 1128 ▼ 33% Sign in

Replies: 28 ▼ 6% Sign in

Reposts: 193 ▼ 26%

Quotes: 16 ▼ 15%

The Onion

Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz

Likes: 17474 ▲ 937% Sign in

Replies: 343 ▲ 937% Sign in

Reposts: 3052 ▲ 1060%

Quotes: 132 ▲ 594%

The Onion

Frustrated Trump Struggling To Find Any Infrastructure Left In Indiana To Destroy https://theonion.com/frustrated-trump-struggling-to-find-any-infrastructure-left-in-indiana-to-destroy/

Likes: 1990 ▲ 18% Sign in

Replies: 27 ▼ 10% Sign in

Reposts: 286 ▲ 8%

Quotes: 28 ▲ 47%

The Onion

This is your last chance to get the America's Finest Beanie https://store.theonion.com/products/pre-order-the-onion-logo-beanie

Likes: 106 ▼ 93% Sign in

Replies: 1 ▼ 96% Sign in

Reposts: 6 ▼ 97%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 94%

The Onion

Trump Blames High Prices On The Price

Likes: 1870 ▲ 11% Sign in

Replies: 46 ▲ 11% Sign in

Reposts: 189 ▼ 28%

Quotes: 17 ▼ 10%

The Onion

Report Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel

Likes: 880 ▼ 47% Sign in

Replies: 18 ▼ 40% Sign in

Reposts: 113 ▼ 57%

Quotes: 16 ▼ 15%

The Onion

Tinsel Draped Over Urn

Likes: 678 ▼ 59% Sign in

Replies: 13 ▼ 56% Sign in

Reposts: 48 ▼ 81%

Quotes: 8 ▼ 57%

The Onion

This Your Best One Yet, Report Nation’s Sycophants https://theonion.com/this-your-best-one-yet-report-nations-sycophants/

Likes: 652 ▼ 61% Sign in

Replies: 7 ▼ 76% Sign in

Reposts: 41 ▼ 84%

Quotes: 6 ▼ 68%

The Onion

Recent Graduate Figures She Might As Well Do Good In World Until Economy Picks Up https://theonion.com/recent-graduate-figures-she-might-as-well-do-good-in-wo-1819578132/

Likes: 1147 ▼ 31% Sign in

Replies: 6 ▼ 80% Sign in

Reposts: 72 ▼ 72%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

“When it comes to putting together a crew with the skills needed for a bank job or a jewel heist, a majority of Americans reported knowing just one or two guys, tops,” said lead researcher Jane Iannitello

Likes: 1183 ▼ 29% Sign in

Replies: 30 ▼ 0% Sign in

Reposts: 151 ▼ 42%

Quotes: 26 ▲ 36%

The Onion

Likes: 680 ▼ 59% Sign in

Replies: 15 ▼ 50% Sign in

Reposts: 35 ▼ 86%

Quotes: 4 ▼ 78%

The Onion

Show everyone you are smart despite your current salary. https://store.theonion.com/products/i-can-read-vintage-t-shirt?variant=42177514799173

Likes: 221 ▼ 86% Sign in

Replies: 2 ▼ 93% Sign in

Reposts: 12 ▼ 95%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 94%

The Onion

Trump Calls Groceries ‘A Hoax’

Likes: 1703 ▲ 1% Sign in

Replies: 50 ▲ 1% Sign in

Reposts: 271 ▲ 3%

Quotes: 16 ▼ 15%

The Onion

Artist Profile: Katseye https://theonion.com/artist-profile-katseye/

Likes: 507 ▼ 69% Sign in

Replies: 3 ▼ 90% Sign in

Reposts: 16 ▼ 93%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

The Best And Worst ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Episodes Of All Time

Likes: 238 ▼ 85% Sign in

Replies: 7 ▼ 76% Sign in

Reposts: 17 ▼ 93%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

Click here for exclusive ways to throw your money at us. https://store.theonion.com/products/the-onion-500-piece-jigsaw-puzzle

Likes: 126 ▼ 92% Sign in

Replies: 4 ▼ 86% Sign in

Reposts: 6 ▼ 97%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

Study Finds 80% Of Americans Lack Social Connections To Pull Off Heist https://theonion.com/study-finds-80-of-americans-lack-social-connections-to-pull-off-heist/

Likes: 1466 ▼ 12% Sign in

Replies: 21 ▼ 30% Sign in

Reposts: 202 ▼ 23%

Quotes: 103 ▲ 442%

The Onion

Rubio Orders State Department Braille Signage Switch To ‘Times New Roman’

Likes: 1429 ▼ 15% Sign in

Replies: 29 ▼ 3% Sign in

Reposts: 195 ▼ 25%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 63%

The Onion

Show your loved ones how little you'll spend. Buy them a gift subscription to The Onion at https://membership.theonion.com/gifts.

Likes: 323 ▼ 80% Sign in

Replies: 4 ▼ 86% Sign in

Reposts: 27 ▼ 89%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 89%

The Onion

Mom’s Eyes Roll Back In Head At Dinner Table As She Feeds On Family’s Enjoyment Of Food https://theonion.com/moms-eyes-roll-back-in-head-at-dinner-table-as-she-feeds-on-familys-enjoyment-of-food/

Likes: 1186 ▼ 29% Sign in

Replies: 19 ▼ 36% Sign in

Reposts: 99 ▼ 62%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 63%

The Onion

This Weeks Onion Magazine:

Likes: 1671 ▼ 0% Sign in

Replies: 19 ▼ 36% Sign in

Reposts: 282 ▲ 7%

Quotes: 15 ▼ 21%

The Onion

Inconsiderate Woman On Bus Eating Live Tuna https://theonion.com/inconsiderate-woman-on-bus-eating-live-tuna-1819575933/

Likes: 1771 ▲ 5% Sign in

Replies: 35 ▲ 5% Sign in

Reposts: 162 ▼ 38%

Quotes: 22 ▲ 15%

The Onion

At first I looked around at all the red soil and sunbaked cliffs, assumed I was in Arizona, and was like, “Okay, looks like the Rapture is starting in Phoenix!” Said Jesus Christ

Likes: 748 ▼ 55% Sign in

Replies: 20 ▼ 33% Sign in

Reposts: 66 ▼ 74%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 84%

The Onion

Real Estate: As Featured In Film

Likes: 474 ▼ 71% Sign in

Replies: 7 ▼ 76% Sign in

Reposts: 17 ▼ 93%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 84%

The Onion

Make your life moderately less empty and meaningless with Onion merchandise. https://store.theonion.com/products/drugs-win-drug-war-onion-headline-t-shirt?variant=17247276924995

Likes: 258 ▼ 84% Sign in

Replies: 3 ▼ 90% Sign in

Reposts: 17 ▼ 93%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 89%

The Onion

Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times https://theonion.com/nation-just-wants-to-be-safe-happy-rich-comfortable-1819575365/

Likes: 999 ▼ 40% Sign in

Replies: 19 ▼ 36% Sign in

Reposts: 83 ▼ 68%

Quotes: 8 ▼ 57%

The Onion

White House Begins Christmas Season With Ceremonial Lighting Of Cross

Likes: 28937 ▲ 1618% Sign in

Replies: 524 ▲ 1618% Sign in

Reposts: 7767 ▲ 2853%

Quotes: 465 ▲ 2347%

The Onion

What To Know About ‘Pluribus’ https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-pluribus/

Likes: 622 ▼ 63% Sign in

Replies: 3 ▼ 90% Sign in

Reposts: 41 ▼ 84%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 94%

The Onion

Golden Globes Introduces Best Podcast Category https://theonion.com/golden-globes-introduces-best-podcast-category/

Likes: 504 ▼ 70% Sign in

Replies: 9 ▼ 70% Sign in

Reposts: 39 ▼ 85%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 63%

The Onion

Likes: 513 ▼ 69% Sign in

Replies: 4 ▼ 86% Sign in

Reposts: 19 ▼ 92%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

Commentary: Can You Guys Come Pick Me Up? I Accidentally Returned To Mars https://theonion.com/can-you-guys-come-pick-me-up-i-accidentally-returned-to-mars/

Likes: 888 ▼ 47% Sign in

Replies: 26 ▼ 13% Sign in

Reposts: 72 ▼ 72%

Quotes: 11 ▼ 42%

The Onion

Super Hurricane Said to Be Even More Powerful Than Bogdan, World's Strongest Man

Likes: 453 ▼ 73% Sign in

Replies: 7 ▼ 76% Sign in

Reposts: 43 ▼ 83%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 89%

The Onion

Study Finds Young People Now Watch More YouTube Content Than Zoetropes Of Galloping Horses https://theonion.com/study-finds-young-people-now-watch-more-youtube-content-than-zoetropes-of-galloping-horses/

Likes: 872 ▼ 48% Sign in

Replies: 13 ▼ 56% Sign in

Reposts: 78 ▼ 70%

Quotes: 12 ▼ 36%

The Onion

Customer Service Discloses Call Will Be Monitored For Sadistic Amusement https://theonion.com/customer-service-discloses-call-will-be-monitored-for-sadistic-amusement/

Likes: 962 ▼ 42% Sign in

Replies: 15 ▼ 50% Sign in

Reposts: 100 ▼ 61%

Quotes: 9 ▼ 52%

The Onion

Lapsed Cult Member Only Attends Sanctum On Major Bloodletting Holidays https://theonion.com/lapsed-cult-member-only-attends-sanctum-on-major-bloodl-1819576134/

Likes: 787 ▼ 53% Sign in

Replies: 8 ▼ 73% Sign in

Reposts: 36 ▼ 86%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 89%

The Onion

Fact-Checking Trump On Affordability

Likes: 497 ▼ 70% Sign in

Replies: 21 ▼ 30% Sign in

Reposts: 53 ▼ 79%

Quotes: 16 ▼ 15%

The Onion

All the merch in the Onion Store will be considered rare collectibles by the year 2067, so get started building your collection today. https://store.theonion.com/products/time-capsule-vintage-newspaper-13-pack

Likes: 142 ▼ 91% Sign in

Replies: 3 ▼ 90% Sign in

Reposts: 2 ▼ 99%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Unfairport

Likes: 561 ▼ 66% Sign in

Replies: 22 ▼ 26% Sign in

Reposts: 36 ▼ 86%

Quotes: 6 ▼ 68%

The Onion

New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don't Want To Have A Country Anymore https://theonion.com/new-poll-finds-86-percent-of-americans-dont-want-to-hav-1819568337/

Likes: 1342 ▼ 20% Sign in

Replies: 28 ▼ 6% Sign in

Reposts: 171 ▼ 34%

Quotes: 16 ▼ 15%

The Onion

Fabergé Egg Recovered After Being Swallowed By Thief https://theonion.com/faberge-egg-recovered-after-being-swallowed-by-thief/

Likes: 450 ▼ 73% Sign in

Replies: 8 ▼ 73% Sign in

Reposts: 26 ▼ 90%

Quotes: 4 ▼ 78%

The Onion

Clinic Closures Force More Rural Americans To Rely On Horse Who Stomps Twice When Patient Has Cancer https://theonion.com/clinic-closures-force-more-rural-americans-to-rely-on-horse-who-stomps-twice-when-patient-has-cancer/

Likes: 1856 ▲ 10% Sign in

Replies: 23 ▼ 23% Sign in

Reposts: 246 ▼ 6%

Quotes: 12 ▼ 36%

The Onion

Man Humiliates Himself At Holiday Party By Telling Coworkers He Appreciates Them https://theonion.com/man-humiliates-himself-at-holiday-party-by-telling-coworkers-he-appreciates-them/

Likes: 976 ▼ 42% Sign in

Replies: 15 ▼ 50% Sign in

Reposts: 58 ▼ 77%

Quotes: 10 ▼ 47%

The Onion

Trump Appears To Doze During Stroke

Likes: 3701 ▲ 119% Sign in

Replies: 83 ▲ 119% Sign in

Reposts: 587 ▲ 123%

Quotes: 31 ▲ 63%

The Onion

Hometown Unveils Disappointing Microbrewery https://theonion.com/hometown-unveils-disappointing-microbrewery/

Likes: 897 ▼ 46% Sign in

Replies: 9 ▼ 70% Sign in

Reposts: 73 ▼ 72%

Quotes: 18 ▼ 5%

The Onion

Japanese Monk Racks Brain For Haiku That Will Knock Them On Their Asses https://theonion.com/japanese-monk-racksbrain-for-haiku-that-will-knockthem-on-their-asses/

Likes: 2540 ▲ 50% Sign in

Replies: 45 ▲ 50% Sign in

Reposts: 346 ▲ 31%

Quotes: 29 ▲ 52%

The Onion

Deer: Deer Are Fine - Horrifying Planet

Likes: 903 ▼ 46% Sign in

Replies: 19 ▼ 36% Sign in

Reposts: 260 ▼ 1%

Quotes: 17 ▼ 10%

The Onion

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Unfairport

Likes: 561 ▼ 66% Sign in

Replies: 22 ▼ 26% Sign in

Reposts: 36 ▼ 86%

Quotes: 6 ▼ 68%

The Onion

Terry Gross Conducts ‘Fresh Air’ Interview On Bluetooth During Uber Shift https://theonion.com/terry-gross-conducts-fresh-air-interview-on-bluetooth-during-uber-shift/

Likes: 1028 ▼ 38% Sign in

Replies: 9 ▼ 70% Sign in

Reposts: 87 ▼ 66%

Quotes: 14 ▼ 26%

The Onion

New Sympathetic Alarm Clock Just Lets You Sleep

Likes: 1472 ▼ 12% Sign in

Replies: 18 ▼ 40% Sign in

Reposts: 182 ▼ 30%

Quotes: 12 ▼ 36%

The Onion

Multiple Countries Boycott Eurovision Over Israel’s Participation https://theonion.com/multiple-countries-boycott-eurovision-over-israels-participation/

Likes: 732 ▼ 56% Sign in

Replies: 12 ▼ 60% Sign in

Reposts: 64 ▼ 75%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 84%

The Onion

“I brought this horrid creature into the world, and now I must take him out!” Winfrey said

Likes: 14942 ▲ 787% Sign in

Replies: 406 ▲ 787% Sign in

Reposts: 2752 ▲ 946%

Quotes: 243 ▲ 1178%

The Onion

Real Estate: Great Home For Hand Soap

Likes: 711 ▼ 57% Sign in

Replies: 8 ▼ 73% Sign in

Reposts: 49 ▼ 81%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 89%

The Onion

Shop at The Onion store. It's not like anything else has made you happy. https://store.theonion.com/products/pre-order-the-onion-logo-beanie

Likes: 134 ▼ 92% Sign in

Replies: 1 ▼ 96% Sign in

Reposts: 5 ▼ 98%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 89%

The Onion

Plex Submits $35 Bid For Warner Bros.

Likes: 11455 ▲ 580% Sign in

Replies: 114 ▲ 580% Sign in

Reposts: 2053 ▲ 680%

Quotes: 124 ▲ 552%

The Onion

Four Homeless People Dead In What Girlfriend Refers To As 'Cuddle Weather' https://theonion.com/four-homeless-people-dead-in-what-girlfriend-refers-to-1819574385/

Likes: 1310 ▼ 22% Sign in

Replies: 16 ▼ 46% Sign in

Reposts: 119 ▼ 54%

Quotes: 11 ▼ 42%

The Onion

From The Archives: Why American Hubris Will Never Catch Up To Us

Likes: 2427 ▲ 44% Sign in

Replies: 19 ▼ 36% Sign in

Reposts: 319 ▲ 21%

Quotes: 7 ▼ 63%

The Onion

Fact-Checking Trump On Affordability https://theonion.com/fact-checking-trump-on-affordability/

Likes: 1014 ▼ 39% Sign in

Replies: 11 ▼ 63% Sign in

Reposts: 132 ▼ 49%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

American Classmates Having Difficulty Understanding Better Educated Foreign Exchange Student https://theonion.com/american-classmates-having-difficulty-understanding-bet-1828551698/

Likes: 1963 ▲ 16% Sign in

Replies: 26 ▼ 13% Sign in

Reposts: 240 ▼ 8%

Quotes: 15 ▼ 21%

The Onion

Hollywood Films Increasingly Funded By Saudi Arabia https://theonion.com/hollywood-films-increasingly-funded-by-saudi-arabia/

Likes: 668 ▼ 60% Sign in

Replies: 7 ▼ 76% Sign in

Reposts: 61 ▼ 76%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 84%

The Onion

JD Vance Reminded To Use White House Service Entrance

Likes: 1431 ▼ 15% Sign in

Replies: 11 ▼ 63% Sign in

Reposts: 133 ▼ 49%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 84%

The Onion

Divorced Friend Burning Through New Hobbies At Unsustainable Rate https://theonion.com/divorced-friend-burning-through-new-hobbies-at-unsustai-1819579466/

Likes: 1218 ▼ 27% Sign in

Replies: 14 ▼ 53% Sign in

Reposts: 64 ▼ 75%

Quotes: 6 ▼ 68%

The Onion

Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic https://theonion.com/oprah-pursues-dr-phil-on-ship-through-arctic/

Likes: 4756 ▲ 182% Sign in

Replies: 83 ▲ 182% Sign in

Reposts: 877 ▲ 233%

Quotes: 67 ▲ 252%

The Onion

Area Mom Could Have Made Same Meal At Home For Much Cheaper https://theonion.com/area-mom-could-have-made-same-meal-at-home-for-much-che-1819566685/

Likes: 959 ▼ 43% Sign in

Replies: 13 ▼ 56% Sign in

Reposts: 62 ▼ 76%

Quotes: 10 ▼ 47%

The Onion

"My family might be able to enjoy three meals a day, but what would become of my self-respect? At the end of the day, I want to feel good about the marketing professional I see staring back at me in the mirror."

Likes: 767 ▼ 54% Sign in

Replies: 7 ▼ 76% Sign in

Reposts: 58 ▼ 77%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

Dementia Patient’s Family Keeps Ripping Her Away From Idyllic World Of 1950s https://theonion.com/dementia-patient-s-family-keeps-ripping-her-away-from-i-1819578494/

Likes: 944 ▼ 43% Sign in

Replies: 14 ▼ 53% Sign in

Reposts: 57 ▼ 78%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

What To Know About ‘Heated Rivalry’

Likes: 397 ▼ 76% Sign in

Replies: 12 ▼ 60% Sign in

Reposts: 41 ▼ 84%

Quotes: 15 ▼ 21%

The Onion

Utah Bans Eye Contact During Sex

Likes: 1283 ▼ 23% Sign in

Replies: 38 ▲ -23% Sign in

Reposts: 202 ▼ 23%

Quotes: 16 ▼ 15%

The Onion

Cheap, Clean Natural Gas: Earth's One Good Feature - Horrifying Planet

Likes: 313 ▼ 81% Sign in

Replies: 8 ▼ 73% Sign in

Reposts: 28 ▼ 89%

Quotes: 0 ▼ 100%

The Onion

FDA Approves New Drug  That Reverses Effects Of Narcan

Likes: 1530 ▼ 9% Sign in

Replies: 27 ▼ 10% Sign in

Reposts: 207 ▼ 21%

Quotes: 17 ▼ 10%

The Onion

Man Always Wanted To Raise Family In Kind Of Place Where White People Greet Each Other On The Street https://theonion.com/man-always-wanted-to-raise-family-in-kind-of-place-wher-1819577286/

Likes: 981 ▼ 41% Sign in

Replies: 10 ▼ 66% Sign in

Reposts: 58 ▼ 77%

Quotes: 4 ▼ 78%

The Onion

Pros And Cons Of War With Venezuela https://theonion.com/pros-and-cons-of-war-with-venezuela/

Likes: 1504 ▼ 10% Sign in

Replies: 22 ▼ 26% Sign in

Reposts: 167 ▼ 36%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

Everyone In Dream Smells Smoke https://theonion.com/everyone-in-dream-smells-smoke-1819571202/

Likes: 850 ▼ 49% Sign in

Replies: 8 ▼ 73% Sign in

Reposts: 46 ▼ 82%

Quotes: 1 ▼ 94%

The Onion

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Sydney Sweeney

Likes: 562 ▼ 66% Sign in

Replies: 25 ▼ 16% Sign in

Reposts: 62 ▼ 76%

Quotes: 8 ▼ 57%

The Onion

Mom Impressed By Tattooed Person’s Manners

Likes: 920 ▼ 45% Sign in

Replies: 6 ▼ 80% Sign in

Reposts: 75 ▼ 71%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

Asian-American Actresses Describe Struggle Of Constantly Being Typecast As Sherlock Holmes

Likes: 918 ▼ 45% Sign in

Replies: 13 ▼ 56% Sign in

Reposts: 109 ▼ 58%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers

Likes: 1874 ▲ 11% Sign in

Replies: 35 ▲ 11% Sign in

Reposts: 240 ▼ 8%

Quotes: 14 ▼ 26%

The Onion

Green Giant Offering Program Where Gun Owners Can Trade In Firearms For Green Beans https://theonion.com/green-giant-offering-program-where-gun-owners-can-trade-1838097221/

Likes: 1890 ▲ 12% Sign in

Replies: 33 ▲ 12% Sign in

Reposts: 201 ▼ 23%

Quotes: 14 ▼ 26%

The Onion

The Onion Black Friday sale ends tonight. This is your last chance to get 25% off an annual Onion Membership: https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701cx00000QRRoLAAX

Likes: 118 ▼ 92% Sign in

Replies: 6 ▼ 80% Sign in

Reposts: 10 ▼ 96%

Quotes: 2 ▼ 89%

The Onion

“In the heat of the moment, you’ve got to make a decision, and sometimes that decision is imperfect,” said Hegseth

Likes: 1788 ▲ 6% Sign in

Replies: 31 ▲ 6% Sign in

Reposts: 240 ▼ 8%

Quotes: 12 ▼ 36%

The Onion

Likes: 375 ▼ 77% Sign in

Replies: 4 ▼ 86% Sign in

Reposts: 7 ▼ 97%

Quotes: 5 ▼ 73%

The Onion

Show everyone you are smart despite your current salary. https://store.theonion.com/products/i-appreciate-the-muppets-onion-headline-t-shirt?variant=41712819798085

Likes: 234 ▼ 86% Sign in

Replies: 3 ▼ 90% Sign in

Reposts: 17 ▼ 93%

Quotes: 13 ▼ 31%

The Onion

Pros And Cons Of War With Venezuela https://theonion.com/pros-and-cons-of-war-with-venezuela/

Likes: 1050 ▼ 37% Sign in

Replies: 16 ▼ 46% Sign in

Reposts: 79 ▼ 69%

Quotes: 3 ▼ 84%

The Onion

Quentin Tarantino Slams Paul Dano As Worst Actor On Wikifeet https://theonion.com/quentin-tarantino-slams-paul-dano-as-worst-actor-on-wikifeet/

Likes: 1900 ▲ 12% Sign in

Replies: 18 ▼ 40% Sign in

Reposts: 222 ▼ 15%

Quotes: 17 ▼ 10%